N O T  H U M A N
My brain has a hard time being
      ASYNCRONOUS
Communicating and thinking AT THE SAME time
           is DIFFICULT
I poison my brain with CHEMICAL SIGNALS
      LEAVING ME light headed and fuzzy eyed
 
N O T  I N  T H E  M O M E N T
My PERCEPTION OF the world is through
          TUNNEL VISION
Focusing on ANYTHING BUT what is in
     front of me is impossible
I live MY LIFE FEELING like I'm unaware
     or MOST THINGS around me
 
N O T  H A P P Y
Sometimes content but NOT ENJOYING like
    I SHOULD
My plans for enjoyment NEVER SEEM to get
    fullfiled. Ever.
I like what I do BUT NEED TO do something
          else THAT IS MORE alive

really it comes down to having convinced myself
that the future automatically includes everything i
want to do and everything i need to do, but then
i end up sitting around doing nothing at all ever at all.
 
N O T  L O V E D  A N Y M O R E
Am I LOOKING for love? Am I missing love? Am I
     WORTH love?
Am I different? Have I CHANGED? Have I
     LOST something? In the rain?
Is losing enough to HELP ME take back my life
       from my sorry ASS self?